May 2, 2019
It doesn’t get any more beautiful than spring in the garden in the Pacific Northwest, from the Flower Festivals to dogs playing on the grass to cherry blossoms and all the tiny new growth everywhere you look. The earth is reborn. Duck pairs swimming in the pond waiting for the ducklings to hatch, hummingbirds finding their nectar in the best flowers and deer showing off their tiny fawns. Then, eventually, there are the baby ducklings waddling behind momma duck and tiny squirrels coming to the feeder to learn to beg for peanuts. It's pure magic!
Spring has always been a favorite time of year for me. Maybe it is that my birthday is in the Spring. Or, it may be that I love Easter. Or, more likely, it is that I love to watch new life emerge from the garden…all the plants that were lifeless one day, now radiate life and color and light and renewed energy. Most of all, Spring time was when my mom finally emerged from her cozy cottage, away from her fireplace to peak at all the new blooms in her garden.
It seems so crazy that just a month or so ago, we still had dustings of frost on the grass and the garden looked lifeless.
At the very end of Winter, it’s always so hard to believe that Spring will ever come.
The squirrels were still using their tails as umbrellas and there were just a few irises and dogwood flowers peaking out of their winter hibernation.
There seems to be no sign of life anywhere…except for Granny’s little heart shaped topiary that she diligently trimmed each time she cruised by in her wheelchair. That was always green and full of love and life!
Just when you started to think the garden was dead and would never look beautiful again..
The beauty began to emerge. Daffodils were the first to show their happy little faces, fulfilling the promise of Spring. Then, slowly at first but then it seemed you could blink, and another tree would burst with beautiful blooms.
The critters became omnipresent and were a lot more friendly…and by friendly I mean they were hungry so they begged for food more aggressively!
Then the tiny, bright colors of early bloomers blessed us with their beauty.
The bog boots and overalls came out of hibernation too!
Everyone, humans and animals included, gravitated toward the garden to play. My little row boat comes out to play. The lawn games are pulled out of the garden shed.
Nothing fills my heart more than to see the people I love, in the garden I love.
The mallards and wood ducks nest nearby, which is always fun to watch. A pair of Canada Geese moved in this year. Usually they only stop by for a visit. This year we have a pair who decided to stay. They announce their arrival, loudly, every morning, bright and early.
The pups love to swim in the cold creek and I love to lay in the grass with Charlie and Bailey.
The fairies even come out of hiding!
I will always love Springtime, but this is the first Spring without my sweet mom by my side. It has been tough. With every bloom, I feel an emptiness where I use to feel so much joy. Springtime was the most exciting time of year for my mom. Each time one of us wold see a peony bud open or an iris bloom, we would rush to each other and celebrate the beauty.
My sister, Mitchie, says that after someone dies, all the “firsts” are difficult. Out of all the “firsts” for me, Spring has been the hardest…even more so than Christmas.
I wrote this post about my last days with my amazing side-kick, Miss Anita Rigby, Super-hero, Sweet little Momma. It was hard but therapeutic.
I know that I will find joy in the flowers again and they’ll bring a smile to my face as I remember planting each and every one of them with my mom by my side. I just need to get through all the “firsts”.
Much love my friends…xoxo Jill
Vicki Dunbar
Your garden is so enchanting! And relaxing… I literally spent about 30 minutes just gazing at the pictures. Thank you for sharing that part of your life.
As for your comments about ‘firsts’ I understand. The first year after my mother died was numbing. And I was only 14. When I was about 45, the relative that took us in and raised my siblings and I passed away on Mother’s Day. It was devastating. And the first year after she died was numbing as well. Time does help. And so does your beautiful garden and memories of your sweet mother.
Jill
Vicki…thank you so much for your comment. Somehow it is comforting to know that others understand how you feel. I’m so sorry that you lost your mom at 14 and, on top of that, your kind relative when you were 45. I can’t even imagine.
My own mom lost her mother when she was 9. She died of TB. Mom always talked about the wonderful memories she had of her mom but she only knew her from a young child’s perspective. She, like you, was robbed of the experience of knowing her mom as an adult. I always felt badly that she missed out on that. I guess we all learn to deal with our “normal” in time.
Thanks for appreciating my garden. It’s so fun to share with others. It makes all the weeding worthwhile! Stay tuned for a Summer post. I think it might be even more beautiful then! xoxo Jill
Akmar Salim
I understand how does it feel when you lost someone you love. My dad passed away last September. I miss him so bad I don’t know how me and my family celebrate our first Eid fitr without him. Until now I still dreaming of him. Wish I can talks and hug him. Someone used to tell me when I asked why do the best people die? “When you’re in a garden, which flowers do you pick?” “The most beautiful ones.” stay strong my dear momma Jill God knows you and me can do it that’s why he test us 🌹
Jill
Dearest Akmar…I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s always so hard to try to understand why we lose the people we love most. Perhaps you are right…the best flowers are picked first! I admire your strength and positive attitude.
When I’m in the garden I talk to my mom. Sometimes I even say the words out loud. If anyone saw me out there talking to myself they might think I’m crazy! She always told me that she talked to her own dad in the garden when she missed him most. So, that’s where I go to visit with her. She is present in every flower and beautiful little hummingbird.
Sending you love, Akmar…xoxo Momma Jill
Bita
Hi momma Jill!
A beautiful publication, I love your garden, I’ve always dreamed of having something like that or at least being able to escape to a place like that from time to time, it’s so wonderful. I would say that spring is also my favorite season of the year 🙂
Much encouragement, surely she is smiling from every flower that is reborn in the spring of your garden ❤️.
Xoxo Bita~
Jill
Thank you, Bita!
I don’t know what I would do without a garden. It is surely my “happy place”. Sometimes I sit in my basket swing chair that my mom got me and I write my blog posts from there. It can be distracting because I want to gaze at the flowers and the birds, but it is also inspiring. I think that, no matter where I lived, I would find a way to plant a garden. Whether it be in a large yard or a tiny basket, watching things grow gives you something to look forward to each day.
Lots of love, Bita…xo Momma Jill
Cameron Ireland
Momma Jill, I cannot get over how in love I am with your garden! It’s a dream garden honestly, the kind you could just sit out in for hours. I can’t imagine what you’re going through with your mom, the firsts without her, but I know she is with you in everything you do, everything you plant, and is beaming with joy at the glorious garden you have created and on top of that all that you have accomplished with your blog, never forget that <3
All the love,
Cameron Ireland
Jill
Thanks so much, Cameron! The garden really is a magical place. I never take it for granted and always appreciate what I have here.
I do feel my mom with me and see her in every flower that we planted together. It’s so funny that you mention the blog because she would be so happy that I am writing and doing something that I love so much. She loved to write, too. She would have been an excellent blogger!
Thank you for your sweet comment, Cameron. Sending you lots of love…Momma Jill
Sandra
Ante todo mandarte un super abrazo y gran beso de esos que aprietan. Seguro que al final siempre sacan una sonrisa!. La perdida de una madre es una vacío enorme. Pero créeme, ella está contigo es cualquier rincón. Ella seguirá tus pasos cuando estés en ese jardín. Ella te acompaña en alma siempre y en cualquier lugar o momento. Una madre una abandona a sus hijos. 😘😘😘.
Decirte que la primera trae alegría. Ver esas lindas flores abrir, nos endulzan la vida. Nos muestran lo bonita que es la primavera. Aquí se dice que la primavera la sangre altera y en cierta medida es verdad. La primavera nos llena de vida con sus horas de luz. Me encanta tener más horas de luz!! Aunque un buen chocolate enfrente de la chimenea cuando fuera hace frío me gusta más.
Tienes una jardín precioso. Al ver tus fotos, me imagino sentada allí, un gran picnic, rodeada de gente querida!! No hay nada mejor.
Mil besos y abrazos Jill!! Recuerda, ella siempre estará contigo!! 😘😘😘😘💙
Jo Anne
Oh, Jill. How beautiful! You are honoring your Mom every single day. She is with you. The firsts are always the hardest. You will always miss her; but, eventually, the happy memories will overtake the sadness. Know, one day, how wonderful it will be when we are all reunited with those we have loved and lost. In the meantime, think of her as a guardian angel. You carry her with you every day. Once your grief has lightened, you will begin to see signs that she is sending you. I hope I haven’t upset you…….it’s the way I get through things like this. Much love, Jo Anne
Jill
Thank you, Jo Anne. I know in time I will feel all the joy from the flowers but I understand it will take time. I love the idea that she is my guardian angel. Right after she died I instantly thought of her as the hummingbirds in my garden, flitting about from flower to flower. She was busy like that. I have noticed more hummingbirds than ever before and I’m sure that one of those little birds is my mom, paying me a visit.
I’m also comforted to know that she is with her family including my brother and nephew who died too soon.
As always, Jo Anne, I appreciate your comments. Lots of love…Jill